


Don't Walk Away from Me

by guildk_spn14



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, College Life, F/F, F/M, Family Issues, Love, M/M, Mpreg, My First Destiel Fanfic, Will update often, don't know exactly where I am heading, relationships, will add characters and change rating if needed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-28
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-15 11:40:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3445784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guildk_spn14/pseuds/guildk_spn14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bobby and Ellen have taken care of Sam and Dean for the last few years since there Dad passed away (mom had passed away when they were younger). Sam already has a set plan goal of what he wants to do in life while Dean struggles with choosing a Major that will make him happy and successful. There half-brother Adam, Jo, and other high school friends are all attending the same university as them. Sam encourages Dean to decide on a major, while Dean continues to neglect Castiel and his relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Walk Away from Me

“I don’t know Sammy.” Dean shifted his weight then leaned against the impala. “I just don’t want to make the wrong choice. I mean this is choice that decides the rest of my life.”

“Dean, just choose something you are good at and you love doing. “ Sam had always been the one with a bright future. If it wasn’t for Sam talking Dean into going to college, he would be probably be working underneath Bobby for the rest of his life. He loved Bobby but he wasn’t really into being a secretary for the small construction company. 

“That’s easy for you because you want to be a lawyer. You want to settle down, kids, white pickett fence the whole 9 yards. I don’t even know if I want to be here.” Dean looks down at the ground. “I don’t belong here, Sammy.” Dean looked across the parking lot and made eye contact with his boyfriend Castiel. He pleads with his eyes for him to come rescue him from talking to Sam about what he should major in. Cas is the only one who tells Dean that he understands that the choice is difficult. 

“Hello Sam.” Castiel was a lifesaver and Dean owed him. 

“Hey Cas. You should talk some sense into my brother for me. He still hasn’t chosen a major and has almost all of his required classes out of the way plus electives. He has had enough time exploring himself.” Sam was worried. He cared for his brother, the one who helped raise him because his father had changed after their mom had died. He was less John Winchester, loving father and widow, and more paranoid drunk vowed on vengeance. He didn’t want Dean to love in the past. He wanted him to get on with his life because dweling in the past because you can’t change it. Dean took it as Sam being an ass, but Cas understood. 

“I think Dean will choose when he finds something that truly interests him. Though I do agree that the sooner the better, I don’t think pressuring him will increase his odds of deciding faster but slowing him down because of stress.” Castiel always had Dean’s back. No matter what, even if the rest of the world knew that he was wrong. Cas was forever loyal to him. Sam knew that was because Castiel was head over heels in love with his brother. Even though Dean rarely acknowledged their relationship for more than a profound bond between friends. Sam knew differently. In fact Cas was at the house last night until Dean asked him to leave in the middle of the night because he “needed to get some sleep”. Which In Dean language roughly translates into “I am afraid to let myself fall hopelessly in love with you”. 

“Yeah, Cas, maybe you are right.” Sam gave Castiel a knowing look. “Well I have to meet up with Gabriel. He is helping me with this play I have to write a paper on for my advanced composition class. Seeya later.” Sam hoped that Cas had better luck with Dean’s attitude today than he did. And that Dean didn’t hurt Cas anymore, because honestly anyone deserves to be treated better.

“Cas, I didn’t mean-“

“I know exactly what you mean Dean. I just can’t live this way anymore.” Dean shifted his weight and leaned against the impala to check his phone. Cas sighed and walked away, every muscle waiting to turn around as soon as Dean would call him back. But Dean didn’t call his name, or chase after him. When Cas’s met up with Balthazar for lunch, he was an eligible guy again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Later that night~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The impala is flying down a country road in the middle of the night. The radio starts to get static. Dean switches it off and keeps looking forward into the night. Suddenly the impala screeches to a stop on an abandoned dirt road.  
Dean sits there awhile. His hands still gripped tightly to the wheel like he is holding on for his life. One tear escapes and he quickly wipes it then steps out of the impala. He picks up some rocks and starts throwing them out into the vast darkness. The more he threw the rocks the harder he threw them. Anger wasn't even what he was feeling. He was feeling betrayed, which was stupid. This wasn’t his fault, or Cas’s fault. He cared about Cas so much but turned him down when he opened up to him in fear of what his family would think of him. 

This was probably even more embarrassing. Dean Winchester throwing things into the darkness because he was afraid to be himself? The Dean Winchester all worked up over some guy? But he knew he was lying to himself. Cas wasn’t just some guy, he was the one person who actually cared, listened to everything Dean had to say and was willing to support him in any choice he made. Why did he feel that he had to hide how he truly felt?  
Dean knew why he was that way. He hated himself and blamed himself for his parent’s deaths. If he would of followed simple instructions he would have his Mom and Dad back in his life, but he thought he knew best. He had never felt this strong connection in any of his past relationships. But he couldn’t get Cas out of his mind. He looked at the impala and touched the spot where Cas had leaned on his baby earlier that day. The way Cas looked at Dean as if he was the only thing to live for, like he was his. Then Dean pushed him away again. Castiel had warned him. He couldn’t stay where he felt unwanted. Dean should have stopped him, yelled his name and kissed him in front of everyone.  
But that was not the way of Dean Winchester. He simply leaned against his car and watched his soul mate walk out of his life. Dean thought that he could show up later and apologize like any other time. Then Cas would hold him close and snuggle in his arms.  
This would be the time that Castiel was serious. When Dean pulled up to the local Pub to pick Sammy up from work, he saw Cas sitting across from Hannah Milton. She was giggling at one of his jokes and then Dean saw their hands touch. Cas had held her hand and looked up with his gleaming blue eyes. Those blue eyes were cracked like glass. He was trying to put his broken heart back together. Dean left before Cas could see. He sent Sam a text saying that he won’t be able to get him tonight. He then got into his Impala and headed west.

The impala felt empty without Cas in the passenger’s seat. They had issues but Dean thought that maybe their love was unconventional. This was all a façade of course. Dean treated Cas like shit. He lost him because Dean had a twisted version of what it meant to love someone.  
Dean threw another rock. “Cas. I need you. I fucking need you.” The silence cut Dean deep. What did he expect? He let Castiel not only walk away but didn’t even try to show him he didn’t care. Dean showed his pride more respect and affection than the true love of his life. He knew he could only ever see a chance of getting Cas back if and only if he came to terms with accepting Cas’s love and no longer denying Cas in public. Dean’s phone rang but he wasn’t ready to talk to anyone. He didn’t even want to hear himself speak. He had failed the only person who loved him completely for who he was. Dean threw his last rock and sipped his beer before returning to the impala. Then he drove home and laid in bed, wishing that Castiel was on his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try to update once to twice a week. This is my first fanfic and I am really excited! :) Thanks for trudging on through the first chapter


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